How to Say Nothing in 500 Words
How can you make your blog jump off the page and make readers’ eyeballs pop out? After all, lots of other people are saying just what you are, so what’s different about your stuff?
This problem was addressed by Paul Roberts, a 1950’s college English teacher who no doubt kept Folgers stock high due to efforts keeping awake while reading students’ lackluster essays.
Roberts wrote the famous essay, “How to Say Nothing in 500 Words,” and said, “Can you be expected to make a dull subject interesting? As a matter of fact, this is precisely what you are expected to do. This is the writer’s essential task.”
He says that all subjects are dull until somebody makes them interesting. “The writer’s job is to find the argument, the approach, the angle, the wording that will take the reader with him,” he says. Thus, instead of writing an essay about why college football is bad, and lapsing into a lot of tired old arguments, Roberts suggests zeroing in on a concrete image to give the idea some legs:
Picture poor old Alfy coming home from football practice every evening, bruised and aching, agonizingly tired, scarcely able to shovel the mashed potatoes into his mouth. … What will he look back on when he graduates from college? Toil and torn ligaments. And what will be his future? He is not good enough for pro football, and he is too obscure and weak in econ to succeed in stocks and bonds.
This is what grips the reader — how to begin with a general argument and give it flesh with specific details. In the essay, Roberts offers a lot of good writing advice as well, such as how to avoid “padding” your essay with non-essential words, how to avoid trite expressions, and how to get right to the point.
Paul Roberts never saw a blog, but he’d be able to pen a whopping good one today.
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